M-Day Countdown Day 6: Dec 6

I got my suit a few days ago in the mail and it's short. Took it to the tailor and she says never go online because in order to really custom fit something you need human interaction. When I got home I found out machine actually cut the suits based on the numbers you give them in terms of measurements. So even if I were to talk them in person I would only be talking to a machine. Anyhow we're counting down and so I know I only have 22 days to find a new one. They do have a tailor credit, so I could essentially take it to a local tailor on their bill but she can't do anything about a short jacket. And there is the perfect fit guarantee which means to could send it back and get a remake but there's a 4 week turn around so I'm screwed. I look like a man in a child's suit, I can't get married looking like a child. Men's warehouse here I come. I'm supposed to be writing a final paper and all I could think about is this suit situation. Tomorrow I wanted to bust masterpieces but I have to go shopping - torn from my favorite thing to do to doing my least favorite.

M-Day Advent Calendar:

From door 6 emerges:

this guy!

M-Day Countdown Day 5: Dec 5

I am an art student, a walking cliche.

M-day advent calendar:

Day 5:

We live behind facades.

M-Day Countdown Day 4: Dec 4

I'm tired today. No thoughts to share. And I have to finish my final project for my lens art class. Oh Elaine and I learned to waltz and do some other things today for the first time. I'm a terrible dancer. There's so much calculating going on in my head as we're dancing, I bad at math that's why I'm bad at dancing. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4.

M-Day Advent Calendar:

Door number 4:

M-Day Countdown Day 3: Dec 3

Thought of the day: I believe in God you don't. Our beliefs don't necessarily dictate what reality is. Reality is reality separate from our beliefs. Gravity is reality, no matter how hard I believe I can jump across the canyon, I can't. My belief in God doesn't mean there is one. Your belief that there is no God doesn't mean there isn't one. But for our own well being and best interest it's important that our beliefs are alined with reality otherwise we'll fall to the bottom of that canyon.

M-Day Advent Calendar:

Door number three, let's see:

flowers

M-Day Countdown Day 2: Dec 2

Random thought: Elaine, was gone for 2 weeks. It is not good for man to be alone in a new home he doesn't know how to relate to yet. I'm not trying to be morbid but in general as great things start to get close your brain starts to (in it's imagination) sabotage it somehow. Even though the chances of a plane crashing is extremely low (I'm not sure what the percentage works out to but out of 31,755,000 flights per year only 47 accidents) your mind always feel like there's signifcant risk - so just in case Elaine didn't make it back I kept all her texts and emails. Hey, she suggested the idea of not making it back first. But she's back safe and sound so I deleted the texts - my phone has limited capacity so I need the space. 

M-day Advent Calendar Day 2:

When I open up Day 2 to see what lies inside, I find:

Physicalities: naturally occurring bodily imperfections found on me (different from the self or otherwise environmentally afflicted ones):

-sweaty feet

-snore (near sleep apnea - I did a take home test once and they said I didn't have it but I swear I do)

-hole not in my left ear but just outside it

-the set of bones (tibula and fibula) protrude to the outside of my legs creating a bowed look. 

-sparse head hair

-hair on butt

-vision obstructing mongoloid eyelids

-unibrow

-cancerous looking mole on posterior side of right forearm - with mutant hairs

-albino mole on right side of back with one mutant hair

-random 2 hairs on left shoulder

-mutant hair on right clavicle

-15-20 random dark hairs on either cheek

-ingrown nail on both big toes

-callus causing protrusion on outside of both big toes

-spine slightly curved to left (although this may be of my doing)

-spine too far curved to the anterior of body

-bad vision

-2 hairs on right side right below ribcage

-lopsided head

-weird stray darkies on my biceps

  

M-Day Countdown Day 1: Dec 1

On the 28th day of December in this year of our Lord two thousand and twelve I will no longer be a single man in the eyes of man and God. That strangely is not so strange, I guess when I decided I decided. I did have a moment of panic, kind of, one day or night was it but it was minor and I havent had anything like that since. I'm actually ready, well not so ready but excited to be married. Actually being ready and having the feeling of excitement are two very different things. She's been gone for 2 weeks and I didn't feel the urge to go out and party. It's like that, I'm decided. But I honestly feel like I'd be a disaster to marry but too late, it's happening, and I guess it's one of those things you get better at as you go. Like most things. Like everything, right? I don't know one person who was born knowing how to wipe his own ass. Everything is learned. Anyhow like I said before I like to memorialize moments, especially ones that will never be again - like the last month I will ever be a legally single man. I need to do something everyday until M-day, document and post it here. Something my 57 year old self could look back on and laugh at or cry at, who knows in what state my 57 year old self would be. Today I did get to go to the gym, bc I now know the hours and I was showering after and I didn't care. I mean I remember I used to care, when I was a kid in L.A. on the swim team, all the black kids would walk around with their ds hanging out like nothing and I would go hide and change or wait til everybody was gone. High school I was embarrassed too, college same story and then today I realized, whatever, I take it as a sign of getting older. I digress. So everyday from today on for the next 28 days I will post something. A drawing or a video or something. My own advent calendar: The calendar windows open to reveal an image, poem, a portion of a story or a small gift, such as a toy or a chocolate item.

Day 1:

Turning Over a New Leaf

After the crap weekend over thanksgiving where I did nothing productive. I started school with a vengeance, woke up all early feeling good, like I was going to do stuff and conquer world, ate breakfast, even packed my lunch and decided I was going to start working out. Motivated by my lard ass, but more the fact that I'll be sitting on the secluded beaches of the yucatan at some point soon, but even more motivated by the memories of the weekend where I had lists of stuff to do but ended up doing very little. So, inspired I changed into my work out gear (board shorts (since I got my balls smelly workout shorts stolen - how's that for nice a surprise - you, car breaker iners) and a old painted t-shirt) charged to school, ran to the gym ready to lift some weights. Only to find the gym closed. Who closes between the hours of 9am - 12? Damn it! I havent lifted in years - seriously. This could've been my return but now I might never come back, way to go, you gym schedulers. Why are your hours so weird? I actually asked someone that. There's a limited budget apparently. I'd done research too, had my week schedule all written down - chest, abs, cardio, wings - only a month, so I had to pick the strategic ones. Oh - well

The Countdown Starts

The count goes on. 4 - 3 - 2 - 1. M-day in 29 days.

T-Day - All Day

3 days before thanksgiving my sister calls me, no she actually texts me. she and my mom got in a fight over a cookie, clearly its not over the cookie, its years of deep seeded pain and misunderstanding that emerges in our weakest moments (I have pages of things to say about this but I won't, maybe I will later). My sister swears she's moving back to Hawaii this time and so it's clear to me that there will be nothing going on at my house in terms of a joyous family gathering. I'd planned to go home but with nothing to go to I decide to stay. Don't get me wrong, family, gathered or not is a reason to go back home but they were just up here the week before so I felt like that was sufficient, plus they'll be back for the wedding in Dec, merely a month away (saying - or typing things out loud, has a way of making things real - I just had a half second moment of panic as I was typing that). Catch your breath (to self). So it's thanksgiving and I have breakfast with a classmate and her mom who's visiting from out of town. It's a semblance of family, the meal was paid for - a small detail but important bc its just like my family always does. That's just the morning and there's a whole day to think about kinship. I randomly bump into an acquaintance I haven't seen in ages having breakfast alone. It's amazing how things 386.1 miles away can bum me out so much. I still consider hopping in the car and driving down - it might be guilt - I'm aware of it, I even convince a friend to come with but I tell him I still need to think about it after waiting for him to think about it, it's really that easy, making a decision then doing it but as it nears midday it becomes closer to being too late - dinner would be at 7 L.A. time (it's a 6 hour drive). I bike from the house, for the first time, to my studio which is only a few blocks down, pick up some scrap wood on the way, nearly crashing from the shifted weight before making it there. I'd gone to pick something up or drop something off - I forget at this point, it was a short visit. As I close my door to leave I see Brians car across the way on the otherwise abandoned street, it's thanksgiving I need to say hi, the forsaken quality of the place making it that much more urgent. I bang on the roll up door, we chat a while, make plans to go to some party later and to fix my sagging fence the next day. I go home download a history channel special on the crucifixion, I got curious all of a sudden about the historical significance of it (I mean besides the obvious) and I had an idea for a project. Projects require research. Actually I watched half of this before going on my bike ride. I mention it to Brian and he tells me his friend was one of the actors in it. That's hilarious and coincidental because after seeing it, I decided to add to my bucket list 'be an actor in history channel renactments'. I love the visual, and I feel like the history channel does such an amazing job showing us what it mightve actually looked like. although I have to say I was disappointed with their version of Jesus - they made him the stereotypical skinny, 7 ft, long haired, jew nosed, white guy - 'come on you're the history channel for god sakes!' (and i mean that literally). I was also researching this and according to archealogical finds detailing the people in that area during that time jesus wouldve been about 5' 1", tan, muscular and had these features:

Hard to accept huh? after being brain washed for 32 years (another moment of panic after writing something and having it be suddenly more real than ever - words are emotion elicitingly powerful - I'm 32). Well this is how I'm going to draw Jesus from now on. My goal is to singlehandedly change the false image of Jesus in America into this more accurate portrayal. Watch, in the end we'll find out he was Asian looking. Oh well I'm still doing it. Tangent. So I bike to Micheals to take advantage of black friday canvas deals, I see the abandoned parking lot and turn around, remembering that it's thanksgiving. I go home and having let my procrastination make the decision for me, I tell mark 'we're not going to l.a. come here instead'. Then I sit and watch 'God bless America' a pointless, mind dumbing movie about a man who losses everything and decides to shoot mean, evil, arrogant people, I thought it would be like Falling Down (1993) starring micheal douglas which was amazing, a classic in my book but I was wrong. Watch falling down not g.b.a. and please do not mistake the two - I regret even making the association. I do have to say having a house in a semi sketch neighborhood and access to netflix is a deadly combo for me. I gotta get rid of one, probably not the house. I'm so unproductive. If I chose wisely and watched a ton of enlightening movies at least there would be some sort of redemption there but it's one shitty movie after another - hours of my life wasted.

Being a fan of ceremony, not formal but of any kind, my definition; ceremony - any intentional act commemorating or otherwise acknowledging a significant event, holiday, moment, celebration, loss, victory - I decide I should probably not be at home alone on this day of gratefulness. I call a friend, who had earlier in the week invited me to his dinner, to ask if there was still last minute room for one more, expecting a wholehearted 'on this occasion there's always room, buddy!' but i got hesitation, uncertainty and then a consolation ' if then' statement. I started to live by Jack Johnsons lyrics "It seems to me that maybe pretty much always means no" ever since hearing it for the first time. so i took it as a no. Now dont get me wrong I was invited to 4 other gatherings but as the day got later those expired and my decision to stay being so last minute I had no time to forewarn ppl of my sudden appearance. But mark was on his way up with his cooking skills and a safeway detour so I wasnt worried. And I did make myself a sliced turkey sandwich earlier which isnt quite of the carved delicious variety but did help fulfill a small part of my need for ceremony. What we ended up having was gourmet (my kind of gourmet, not yours):

Then we played ball for the first time on the court immediately across the street, lights go out at 11pm:

Before rushing the 3 minutes over to the AMC to catch Life of Pi - watch did not make me believe in God. Good thing I do already. The movie was well - I won't say, you judge for yourself. 

When we got out like at 1am there was strangely life everywhere, it was bustling - Black Friday had officially begun we realized. I've never partaken before - consumerism was never worth getting up in the wee hours of the morning for but finding myself conveniently in the middle of it we had to do it. Target - very tempted by a everything proof, pocket sized HD video camera but I don't have the bones to be making impulse buys only to find out later I ended up with subpar equipment. Best Buy - the line winding through the store was deterrent enough. Time is money. And there isn't even a heart stopping drop in the end. Sports Authority - All I end up getting at the end of the night was a warmer sleep bag and 2 basketballs. 

This long accounting of Thanksgiving 2012 was dedicated to Elaine who's away on an adventure in a far off land at the moment. 

Lost in Translation

조카, 데이비드 김에게

Long time, no see!

보내 준, 메일.

널 만난 듯이 반갑고 기쁘게 받아 보았다.

고모가 해석해 주는 내용을 들으면서

난, 까맣게 잊고 있었던 일까지 잠시 떠올리는 시간~~

할아버지 묘소를 찾던 일, 보신탕 ( 개고기 ) 집을 찾았던 일까지.

요즘은 보신탕 입에도 대지 않는다. 식구들 모두-

왜냐하면, 딸아이가 강아지 ( 백설이 : 페키니즈를 기르면서.....) 기르고 있기에!

할아버지, 묘소는 지금도......?

도시화, 그러니까 아파트를 짓는 바람에 이장( 산소를 옮기는 일: 아버지 인친척들이 했을텐데 그분들과 연락이 닿지 않아.....?)

했을 수도 있다.

너의 고모는 오늘 인천에 일이 있어서

잠시후, 그곳으로 출발

이따가 저녁에 오면 편지 다시 읽고 답을 쓴다고 한다.

우선, 내가 먼저 이곳 집주소와 원준이 이메일 주소를 보낸다.

원준이는 유럽 '벨기에' 라는 나라에서 근무하고 있다.

연락을 해 본지가 아주 오래되었다.

글, 첫머리에 잊은 것이 있다.

12 월, 결혼^^

축하한다. 2 억 만리 먼 곳에서.

언제, 아름다운 부부 화면아닌 실제로 보고 싶다.

행복하고, 평화스러운 가정 이룰 것을 기대해 마지 않는다.

하나님의 은혜와 은총이 첫눈 내리듯이~~~~

만나는 날까지 안녕히!

- 부천에서 고모부

* 고모 주소 : 경기도 부천시 원미구 상 3 동 500-5   다정한 마을 ( 쌍용 ) 아파트 2123 동 1002 호  김영숙

* 원준 메일 : wjkang 01 @ mofat. go. kr

#  원준 전화 번호는 벨기에 한국대사관으로 들어가면 나와 있다. ( 32 - 2 ) 675 - 5777 ( 미국에서 와는 다를 수도 )

Then you hit the Translate Message button and you get:

Nephew, David Kim, Long time, no see! Send mail. Gave Saw as happy and delighted to accept the board met. Listening aunt that interprets the contents I had forgotten to briefly recall the time ~ ~ ) Dog meat soup (the house looking for grandfather's tomb, who sought to Nowadays do not exactly touched. All of us - Because my daughter (Snow White: Pekingese nurtured .....) because raising a puppy! Grandpa graveyard still ......? Urbanization, so moving chapter in the apartment building wind (oxygen: Their contact with Father seal Chuck would have been not reach .....?) May have. Your aunt in Incheon today After a while, there departure Re-read the letter later in the evening when the attempt at an answer. First of all, I first place home address 2009 This e-mail address and send. 2009 two are working in a European country called 'Belgium'. Contact was a very long time since I've seen Post, at the beginning you forget it. December, married ^ ^ Congratulations 200000000 Great from afar. When, a beautiful screen, rather than a couple actually want to see. Home to achieve a peaceful, happy and hope does not last. Down as the first glance, the grace and the grace of God ~ ~ ~ ~ Meet until the day goodbye! In Bucheon and uncle. * Aunt Address: Wonmi-phase, three-dong 500-5, friendly village (Ssangyong apartment) 2123 Copper 1002 - Sook 2009 mail: wjkang 01 @ mofat go. kr # 2009 phone number for me to go into the Belgium Embassy of Korea. (32 - 2) 675-5777 (in the United States from may vary)