This morning I woke up with a deep sadness. I dont know why. Actually it is and could be from a variety of things; broken relationship, mind preoccupied by thoughts of packing/needing to find a job, taking multiple trips to and fro Oakland, maybe breathing in the dust that hangs in the air of my room did something to my mind, not wanting to leave the City I love (Je t'amine San Francisco), and anticipation of the show coming up tomorrow-where tons of people will see my mediocre work-why I chose to show this mediocre piece of work.. I dont know.
I'm sure having just seen Memories of Matsuko last night doesnt help either. I have this tendency these days to get too involved in the characters or the story-that may or may not be a good thing. It's good in that this fictional creation allows me to experience things in reality that I never would otherwise but if it puts me into a deep sadness -is it good? I suppose so-it starts my gears turning, my soul churning-a discontent that is holy.
I guess I need to explain the movie a little bit at this point. It's a Japanese film, a women is dead and it goes back into her life from the beginning telling her entire life story. I loved it for so many different reasons. It's one to own, I'll get a copy and we'll watch it.
Then to top it off there's beautiful music blaring through the car speakers as I drive to work (over slept..missed the bus). A womans voice, singing breathtaking opera style songs..they're always kind of sad..that doesnt help either. Why are beautiful songs always so sad....