Man, I realized something pretty significant this weekend just by looking at one piece of art. And this isn't really something new-I've known this in the back of my head for a while as a not fully processed thought (or maybe I was just in denial) but I'm not that sweet of an artist. I'm a little behind. Meaning I can't go straight into a MFA program I need to go back to the basics. So how I realized this was I picked up a copy of Drawing Magazine and saw that there's school that teaches people how to draw-there was a before and after picture of drawings this dude did and I saw that my drawings were closer to the before than the after-although I've done and could do ones like the after-my everyday stuff was more like the before. And drawing is this skill that anybody who has half a brain can learn. It's very technical and the concepts are relatively easy to get-light is the key to creating the illusion with that shadows, reflection points, shapes. I know drawing makes the greatest painters. Any maybe I dont need to go that far back to basics but I do feel like I know very little and am only learning from myself. There are so many tricks and tips and things like washes that I never really knew about-and materials- I only continue to do what I know. Maybe I'm just a lazy painter-who knows everything that I need to know but dont apply them since it takes a little more effort. So I came up with a couple of conclusions or maybe half conclusions.
1.)I am not ready for the MFA program-I kind of want to go back and do BFA classes again, I was going through my old notes from Davis and that's all good stuff that I should already know in my heart but am only remembering as I read old notes-what the hell was I doing back in Davis, absolutely nothing-wasting a valuable education-getting drunk-it's times like these I wish I was a better student. Unless maybe the MFA is learning those things but I get the feeling that MFA kids are like pros already just trying go a notch higher. I should call the Acad Art dude and ask him.
Note to Self: Call Acad of Art dude: Scott and inquire about program.
Another thing made me feel unworthy of the program is I saw this pretty sweet painting at Regen yesterday and Steven was telling me that the girl who did it has been trying to get into a program for a while and hasnt been able to until recently and I was like dude if something of that caliber cant get in then I for sure cant get in.
2.)Artist Require a Community- A true artist needs to be in an artist community. I feel like I'm in this community with myself and do all my art myself and self critique and dont learn any new techniques myself and bounce the same old ideas off myself and dont discover new media myself. All I can do is tell myself I suck or am good and play with the same old thing forever looking at it through my same pair of eyes. I feel like I'm behind and dont know all those new tricks and techniques like washes because of the lack of community. And you know how I realized this by looking at the one dope piece at Regen-I saw a crayon sketch dressed with light washes and I was like dude that's sweet.
3.)I had another one but I can't remember it at the moment. It probably was something about me getting back to basics.